Why Stay in Abusive Relationships?

When it comes to abusive relationships, this is a very troubling subject and one sure to ignite controversy. It is undeniable that, in general, women are not the cause of the domestic violence abuse that they are subjected to in their lifetimes. The cause is always the anger and intolerance of the other party, generally of the male gender, though I am sure that there are abusive lesbians out there as well. The question is why do abused women continue to stay in or seek out abusive relationships?

Where Do Abusive Relationships Occur More Frequently?

American culture is diverse and studies have shown that domestic violence resulting from abusive relationships occur with more frequency in lower economic class communities. You won’t find the same set of values in an affluent neighborhood that you do in a trailer park. It is well documented that the lower the education level in a certain demographic, there will exist a tendency for elevated physical violence levels. Ignorance breeds intolerance and poverty leads to frustration. Ignorance and frustration are the root causes of violent outbursts, but they are not the only ones.

Alcohol and drug abuse are also linked to violence and abusive relationships. This kind of substance abuse derives directly from the ignorance and frustration described previously.

Culturally, Americans grow up watching extremely violent television programs and movies. This causes a type of acceptance that violence is a part of everyday life. Violence in our schools has elevated to all time record levels. It is natural to believe that this unchecked violence will then spill over into abusive relationships.

Most people know at least one woman that is in an abusive relationship or has been battered. These abusive women have been counseled by friends, neighbors, and co-workers and they have all been told the same thing over and over again: get out of the relationship. They are told that they should go to the police and get a restraining order. They are told that if they don’t then the physical and verbal abuse will go on forever and they will never get out.

Sometimes there are children involved and that makes it even more important that these women seek help. Children can be traumatized by watching the relationship violence that happens between their parents. Many times these same children grow up to become the ones in the abusive relationships.

Abusive Relationships Should Not be Tolerated

Finally, for those women in abusive relationships who feel that they are stuck and that there is nothing they can do are wrong. There are many organizations and hot lines for battered women that they can call and get immediate counseling and advice. There are shelters available where they will be protected and safe. Domestic abuse against women should never be tolerated and the people who most need to realize this are the very ones involved in these unhealthy relationships.

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